Hello, I just took a lovely stroll down Bree’s blog memory lane and Wow. It has been nearly two years but maybe I will be back to stay this time!
Before, I get started whatever you think I’m going to say, just pause. Hear me out. Let me share.
Since my last post I have had my second baby. She is now nearly 8 months old. I have ridden the postpartum rollercoaster of highs and lows regarding how I feel about myself and my life after having had a second baby. I am not a fan of rollercoasters and as such was not a fan of this process either. However, I’m stepping off that ride now and am so full of thankfulness that I decide to go through with it.
Last week I was playing the comparison game. I know. I know. Stop it! But, I forget sometimes and it happens. So, here is my confession. I was comparing myself to a young, single, girl who was checking out my husband who didn’t notice but I did (currently I’m smirking to myself at my silliness). Now, I’m still young. I will be honest. I’m twenty-five so I am probably only a few years older than this girl but she seemed so young, so fresh, so pretty. I started to go down this negative road. A road filled with lies, doubt, and all out yucky feelings about myself. Then, I had a thought, thought that changed everything.
Once I was a HOT young girl, at least looking back I think so. I will never be hot again. I will never be society’s definition of hot ever again. Even, if I work my ass off and get in amazing shape I will still be a Mom with loose skin and stretch marks and breasts that have clearly grown with pregnancy and fed two children. Hotness is not in the cards for me ever again. It is okay though. In fact it is better than okay. Motherhood has stolen my “hotness” but given me something even better in return.
I call it carefree beauty. The kind of beauty that says, “I will go to the store, look everyone in the eye and be full of joy because I have precious alone time! I don’t know what this food is my baby wiped on my sweatshirt right before I left but EH…I have stuff to do. Who cares?!” This kind of beauty can take a picture right after waking up with their babies and look wonderful. This kind of beauty can not look in a mirror all day and at the end of a long day hear with surprise and familiarity their spouse say, “Hey. You’re beautiful today.” This kind of beauty puts on makeup maybe once a week because a maintained home and happy little people are the priority. This kind of beauty has long since moved away from the vanity it never knew lived nearby. This is quiet, confident beauty.
We lost all shame while pregnant or birthing or both. We stopped worrying about what other people thought during desperate times when the priority became learning to feed or soothe our babies over someone else’s opinion. Selfishness left when we had to start making intentional time to eat, sleep, work out, foster friendships, and talk to our husbands. These things gave us a confidence many of us mothers don’t notice right away. It is a confidence that recognizes all we have been through on this journey of motherhood.
I’m still going to take care of myself. I’m still going to set goals. I’m still going to do things that allow me to feel beautiful whenever I can. Those opportunities will soon be increasing as my girls leave behind their baby years. I’m thankful for that but I’m more thankful for the carefree beauty these babies have revealed in me. My appearance no longer defines me as a woman.
One of my long time girl friends recently said to me that some mothers have a glow about them. She told me I have that glow. That glow is in all moms waiting to be acknowledged. What people think no longer matters. Love is what matters. Our lives are full of love and love’s beauty shines through all of our faces. I will never be society’s definition of hot again but I have a confidence and a beauty that no amount of my favorite makeup can make up for. It is unrivaled and you have it to!
Happy Mother’s Day all you Beautiful ladies out there!